The Last Cry

我抱歉因为我忘了什么时候认识你
但是你知道这个不是重点，重点是无论我认识了你多久，又或者我们背景有多不相同，
你陪我哭过
笑过
闹脾气过
发疯过
甚至在所有人都不在乎我的眼泪的时候
你不断地让我知道你很在乎
不断地到我狠狠地骂你
嫌你
羞辱你
厌恶你
直到我讨厌我自己为什么对你凶
但你那一贯的笑容都没有落下过
我不会忘记你告诉我：因为我认识你啊！
那是这段友谊中最让我感动的一刻
感谢天
因为我认识你。
愿你，生日快乐，安康。

_____________________________________


I'm really proud with you on your achievement and glad that i could have be by your side in your unforgetable moment in your life.

When you're saying thank you for my accompany in your convocation, and felt sorry on something had happened between us in the past, i would like to say thank you and sorry to you, too.Thank you for let me share your happinese and has give me your fully trust not only as a cousin sister, but also the closest friend in this world.Sorry for my bad temper and emotional sometimes, i knew sometime i being so rude and offensive to both of you and Eva, but you girls had ever leave me behind and accept the way i am.

Here you go on another stage of your life, don't be afraid nor lost, because Eva and I will always be by your side, wherever and whenever.

Lastly, CONGRATULATION!!!!!! Love you darling!


_____________________________


Whenever i read the 2 old posts back, i feel i such a fool, such a childish, such a pity.

"我不会忘记你告诉我：因为我认识你啊！"

"i knew sometime i being so rude and offensive to both of you and Eva, but you girls had ever leave me behind and accept the way i am. "

This completely kill me, like real.

放不下就是放不下，我的自尊心就是那么他妈的强。

我在以为被允许的情况下伤害过你们，不追究你们允许我放肆的责任，单纯诚心诚意我原来伤害了我重视的人而向你们道过了歉。

但你们对我的伤害，我能forgive, 我不能forget，因为我就是他妈的死心眼的人。

我若是不配让你们敞开心胸真诚相对的话，不要不断地对我说那些他妈的话，然后在最后不但掀开一切真相，也让那些曾经我天真以为是真、但是假的话留在我的脑袋里，让我在孤独的时候不断地谋杀我，一天一天地蚕食我看的比生命还要重要的自尊心，也吞没我对别人的信心。

连你们都会隐瞒背叛，谁还可以相信？

我宁愿，我不要你们当初的同情配合，当面拒绝我、排挤我、杯葛我，让我从头到尾都是一个人；也不要让我为你们付出一切的信任后，才一脚踢开我，告诉我从前是多么不该，多么可怕，多么独权。

你们要的，或许只是一个架上连我自己也觉得恶心面具的我。

世界上没有什么人可以相信，也完全没有所谓知心好友那么幼稚的事，我戴着面具，也可以活得很好。

诚心感谢你们，让我看清唯一相信的童话，原来只是一场春梦。

Rachel Chew! This is the damn last time you cry for this! Tomorrow is new year, put on your mask and be the one that people wish you to be!




Kepong, Malaysia
20100213, 1056am
Rach in the last cry in Cow year.