Eva told me that i should appreciate the busyness in such a difficult time. Yea i know, i'm actually enjoy my job very much, as what my parent told me, i'm workaholic. I don't deny nor admit it. I mean, this is life, this is a journalist life i wanted since i was small, i have passion in my job, but i feel so empty after work. This emptiness haunted me recently.
I hope someone here to share my sadness and happiness, the one could listen to me, and understand what i need. Yet the one far away from me now, not only in term of distance, but mentally too.
We have too little time spent together, we don't involve in each other's life too much. This is not the ideal relationship i looking for all the time. I cant afford to "try" on a relationship anymore, what i want is someone willing to share his everything, and let me involve in his life.
And this is what i couldn't found from him.
Jon asked me, is he stands a chance if i turn to be single? I told him I've the high possibility to become single again, if he fails to confidence me, and fails to show me that he's the one for me in the short future, i'll be single, but i don't think i'll be available anymore. Just to know that, after all 5 relationships, you can imagine how much confidence i left for relationship.
We have too little time spent together, we don't involve in each other's life too much. This is not the ideal relationship i looking for all the time. I cant afford to "try" on a relationship anymore, what i want is someone willing to share his everything, and let me involve in his life.
And this is what i couldn't found from him.
Jon asked me, is he stands a chance if i turn to be single? I told him I've the high possibility to become single again, if he fails to confidence me, and fails to show me that he's the one for me in the short future, i'll be single, but i don't think i'll be available anymore. Just to know that, after all 5 relationships, you can imagine how much confidence i left for relationship.
endless assignments, other commitments, unfinishable articles, projects, proposals, appointments, meetings, arrangements, and relationship. These make me feel like breathless, i just need the one beside me, give me hug and a kiss on my forehead, tell me he'll standby me, hold me on, and right here for me...
I'm wondering, is this consider as demanding?
I miss the fantastic first meet; I miss the long talk; I miss the way you kept my hand warm; I miss the kiss on my forehead; I miss the warm hug; I miss the night in Ulu Langat; I miss you played me guitar; I miss you told me bout your childhood; I miss the KL Tower night view..
But... If you don't love me enough, can you please just release me?
But... If you don't love me enough, can you please just release me?
He doesn't love u?? He cares about u a lot right?? Rushed back from SG, just to see how were u doing with that ankle?? Then came back the second time, for ur graduation?? Think at the bright side, don't let emotions/PMS effect u....
ReplyDeleteBe positive!!!! YAY~~~~
ReplyDeletehe wasn't come back all because of me, he had some work too.. aihh.. i feel like i've no different with single now =(
ReplyDelete